The Power of Unlearning Negative Patterns: 3 Life-Changing Reads

Written By Kristin Wood


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The Ultimate Booklist to Transform Your Life

Ever feel like something’s just off? Like you’re stuck in a rut, or maybe on the edge of feeling downright depressed? You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. Here’s the thing: the beliefs and patterns ingrained in you are often at the root of these feelings. They’ve been running the show, often without you even realizing it.


That’s where books come in. They’re a gentle, accessible way to start unwrapping those layers. Think of them as your first step into the shallow end before diving into deeper waters like 60-minute coaching sessions. Books can introduce you to new concepts at your own pace, letting you dip your toe in and get comfortable before fully immersing yourself.


I’ve got three life-changing reads that have helped me and many others on this journey. These books will open your eyes to new ways of thinking and help you see the patterns holding you back.


They’re fantastic whether you’re just starting your self-discovery journey or you’ve been on this path for years. I like to reread these gems yearly and always discover something new. It’s amazing how, as we evolve, different insights pop out and resonate with us in new ways.


So, let’s dive into these amazing books together and start shifting those beliefs. Here are my top recommendations for anyone ready to make a change and feel more like themselves again. I hope you’ll find them as a warm, comforting hug that says, “You’ve got this, and I’m here with you.”

Physical Books vs. Audiobooks – Which Is Best?

Let’s settle this once and for all: physical books or audiobooks? Here’s the truth: you need both. Yup, I said it. When it comes to getting the most out of a book, you want to experience it in every way possible.


Here’s what this dynamic duo looks like…grab that physical book. Highlight the passages that rock you to your core, dog-ear the pages that make you think “holy cow,” and stick those little tabs everywhere that make you pause and say “wow.” There’s something magical about holding a book in your hands and marking it up like it’s your own personal treasure map.


But don’t stop there. Listen to the audiobook too. Let the author read it to you exactly how they wrote it. No more guessing where to pause, where to add emphasis, or wondering if that line was meant to be a mic drop or a loving whisper. Hearing it as it was meant to be read gives you so much more depth and understanding. It’s like having the author right there, sharing their heart and soul with you.


So, which is best? There’s no right or wrong answer here – it’s a great big BOTH.


Now, this isn’t critical for all books. If you’re grabbing a good mystery, love story, or supernatural book to just zone out and enjoy, go ahead and choose your favorite way to digest it. But when you have a book where the goal is to unlock another layer of self-understanding, I highly recommend consuming the information in both formats. It’s a game-changer. Reading and listening to the same book gives you a richer, fuller experience that you can’t get from just one format.

Unlearning: Your First Step Toward Real Change

You know that saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”? Well, I’m here to tell you it’s total nonsense. In fact, one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is unlearning. Yep, unlearning all those ingrained beliefs and patterns that have been ruling your life.


Think about it. We’ve all been conditioned from a young age to think, act, and feel a certain way. But what if those ways aren’t serving us anymore? What if they’re the very things holding us back? That’s where unlearning comes in. It’s about stripping away the old, outdated scripts and making room for new, empowering ones.


Unlearning isn’t forgetting; it’s about consciously letting go of what no longer serves you and making space for what does. It’s like decluttering your mind and soul. And just like with physical clutter, once you start clearing it out, you feel lighter, freer, and more in tune with who you really are.


Here’s the kicker: we’ve lived with these old limiting beliefs for so long, that they’ve just become part of the scenery. We don’t even question them because they’ve been there forever. But guess what? You don’t have to keep them around. Beliefs that tell you you’re not good enough, not capable, or not deserving, they’re not permanent fixtures. You can kick them to the curb.


The books I’m recommending are masters at helping you do just that. They don’t just fill your head with new information; they help you identify old, limiting beliefs. Sometimes, just realizing that a belief has been clouding the way you show up in life is enough to start the process of letting it go. That “aha” moment can be the spark that opens you up to new possibilities.


And if that realization makes you crave extra support in letting go of these old beliefs, that’s perfectly normal. It's a sign that you're ready for deeper transformation.


Trust me, unlearning is a powerful step toward real change. It’s not always easy, but it’s incredibly freeing. And the best part? You don’t have to do it alone. These books are like a trusted friend, walking with you every step of the way, helping you to unlearn and relearn who you truly are.

Why "Untamed" Should Be on Your Reading List

If you haven’t read "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle yet, you’re in for a treat. This book is like a breath of fresh air for your soul. It’s not a “do this” kind of book. Instead, it’s a revelation, an invitation to rethink everything you’ve been conditioned to believe and to permit yourself to be who you really are.


When I first read "Untamed", I was floored by how much it resonated with me. It’s one of those books where if I highlighted every “holy cow” moment, 75% of the text would be glowing. Glennon Doyle has a way of putting into words the exact things you’ve been feeling but couldn’t quite articulate.


One of the most powerful ideas in "Untamed" is that discontent isn’t something to fear. Instead, it’s evidence that your imagination hasn’t given up on you. It’s a signal that your true self is still in there, waiting to be rediscovered. Doyle encourages us to relearn our soul's native tongue and to stop disappointing ourselves to make others comfortable. That’s a game-changer right there.


Here's a little gem from the book that hit me hard: every time you must choose between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, it’s your duty to disappoint someone else. That’s right—put yourself first. Disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself. Where’s that memo been all our lives?


In her journey of unlearning who she was taught she needed to be, Glennon Doyle discovered she was gay. Regardless of your feelings on same-sex relationships, don’t let that deter you from the message she’s sharing. Doyle dives into the big hot-button topics of our time with insights that invite you to sit with these topics and decide if your way of thinking is truly yours or something you've simply absorbed or been trained to think over time.


Whether you’ve just started hearing an inner voice telling you something is off or you’ve already jumped in the deep end and are unlearning old scripts to embrace who you truly are, "Untamed" is the perfect guide. Your discontent is a sign that you’re still alive, still dreaming, and still capable of becoming the person you were meant to be.

Why "The Untethered Soul" Will Blow Your Mind

Let’s get real—consciousness is a massive topic to wrap your head around. We’re constantly told to try tools like yoga, meditation, or breathwork to drop down inside ourselves and hear our truth. But seriously, what the heck does that even mean? So, you give it a shot and feel like your truth doesn’t want to come out. It’s silent. You start thinking maybe this “woo-woo stuff” (you know...natural, ancient wisdom stuff) isn’t for you, or worse, that you’re doing it all wrong.


Enter Michael Singer and "The Untethered Soul." This book breaks down the concept of the inner voice in a way that makes sense. Think of it as a “Meditation for Dummies” kind of guide, introducing you to your inner roommate in a relatable, understandable way. Finally, there might be hope that you’ll figure your mind out.


Michael Singer’s approach is refreshingly straightforward. He tells us that the mind isn’t meant to fix what’s wrong inside. It’s just an innocent tool. Using it to protect ourselves from the natural unfolding of life is like using a spoon to cut steak—it’s not what it was designed for. This mismatch creates anxiety and frustration. The mind will spin in circles trying to make meaning, but your job is only to watch its melodrama and fall behind the noise.


Energy is real and, yes, it’s another tough concept to grasp. Our natural tendency is to resist pain, to keep it out, and to avoid walking through it. But by not letting the pain energy flow through, we end up closing around it and keeping it stuck inside us. Singer points out that billions of things can and will happen, and no, you don’t have the capacity to plan for every scenario. What you do have is the ability to decide to be happy and just be happy. Events are just events; they don’t get to determine your happiness.


One of my boys, who’s not exactly the bookish type, asked me for a book recommendation for a work incentive trip he was going on. I immediately said "The Untethered Soul". This book held the message that I wanted him to hear. He took my advice, and halfway through his cruise, he called me to say the book was life-changing. That’s a win for any mom and a testament to the power of this book. It’s about understanding that your mind isn’t the enemy, it’s just a tool. And once you get that, you’re on the path to real peace.


If you’re looking to dive deeper into understanding your mind and soul, "The Untethered Soul" is your next step. It truly is a journey beyond yourself. While this topic may sound deep, and is deep, I’ve not found anyone else who could make it so relatable. Get ready to change the way you think.


And while you're diving into this transformative read, don't forget to continue your journey with my Body Bliss Blueprint. It perfectly complements the mindset shifts you'll experience with "Untamed" and "The Untethered Soul." Let's unlock those layers of self-understanding together!


Continue Your Journey with the Body Bliss Blueprint

As you immerse yourself in these transformative reads, you’ll find yourself questioning old beliefs and embracing new ways of thinking. This is the perfect time to continue your mindset work with my "Body Bliss Blueprint" Guide. This free guide is designed to help you:


> Identify and release limiting beliefs

> Develop a positive and empowering mindset

> Create sustainable habits that support your well-being


It’s the perfect complement to the mindset shifts these books spark, and another tool to help you unlearn old habits and create new, empowering ones.


I've curated the FREE "Body Bliss Blueprint" Guide, specifically for you. Your mindset holds the key to a blissful life.


👉🏻 Click here to get your copy.

Offer for free guide

Why You Need "A Happy Pocket Full of Money" in Your Life

Let's face it: being present in your life is a lot harder than it sounds. We've all heard the wisdom from Buddha, Jesus, and other spiritual masters about living in the now and not worrying about the future. But seriously, how many of us do that? We’re always trying to meddle, thinking we can improve things by worrying and planning. Spoiler alert: we can't.


That’s where "A Happy Pocket Full of Money" by David Cameron Gikandi comes in. This book isn’t about making more money; it’s about living more life. That’s where infinite wealth and abundance reside. It's packed with mic-drop moments that will shift the way you look at your deeply ingrained beliefs. Gikandi challenges us to be present, be aware, enjoy the NOW, and live one moment at a time. If the act of living in the moment stumps you, this book will be your guide.


One of the biggest shifts this book helped me make is the idea that time and money are not finite. The universe has no shortages, and neither do you. Instead of chasing something in the future, it’s about slowing down, living in the now, and letting the future chase you. Imagine that, a life where you’re not constantly running towards something, but instead, everything you want is gravitating toward you.


Gikandi nails it when he says life is your thoughts expressed. Suffering? It’s just an error in thinking, alerting you to a higher thought that would serve you better. Everything we wish to have, we first get in our minds. Think of anything you own or any accomplishment that’s been had—first, it existed in someone’s mind. It was a thought! This book keeps reminding us never to stop dreaming. It’s not about judging and labeling things as good or bad; it’s about recognizing that every event is an opportunity for growth.


Here’s a lovely little nugget from the book: It’s not for us to decide what’s good or bad. This concept is beautifully illustrated through a Taoist story about a farmer whose horse ran away. I won’t spoil it for you, but it’s a profound lesson in accepting life’s events without judgment that starts on page 148.


All three of these books, including "A Happy Pocket Full of Money," emphasize the importance of 'being.' We have been conditioned to think of 'being' as something we need to do, but it’s not. It’s simply a state. Think of happiness, it’s a state, you can’t do happy, you can only ‘be’ happy. When we truly understand this, we realize that 'being' is not about action, however, it does spur thoughts, and actions naturally spring from those thoughts.


But first, everything starts with the state of being, and we have the power to decide what state that will be. If you’re ready to shift your mindset and start living in the now, this book is the perfect companion to help you understand that abundance isn’t something you chase; it’s something you are.

Final Thought: Ready, Set, Transform

I have to share a tagline from one of my dear coaching pals, Jen Anderson, beliefs + boundaries = bliss. The starting point is identifying your beliefs. This is a big step in your journey and I share these books so that you have tools and an opportunity to privately see how your body will react to this exploration.


You may take years processing things on your own or you might quickly feel comfortable enough to seek guidance from a coach. Someone who'll ask you questions and frame the next question to take you a little deeper into understanding the feeling behind the feelings you feel.


Once you start recognizing beliefs you can bring in boundaries. The guidelines that will enhance your self-worth and empower you to have healthier relationships. Boundaries are not about controlling someone else, they’re about you giving and getting respect to the person you want to be ‘being’. This is when bliss happens.


If these three books spark curiosity or stir up more questions, my best advice is to continue to educate yourself and click the link for my Body Bliss Blueprint. It’s a guide that’s not just for wellness but for life in general.


You don’t have to feel stuck, regardless of what you’re going through. There’s always a step you can take to rewrite your story and reclaim your happy place. It all starts with a willingness to listen to yourself, honor your intuition, and take intentional steps toward a life of balance and fulfillment.


If you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked…we should hang out more! Get your copy of my Body Bliss Blueprint and make sure you’re in my world or even book a one-time no-charge Unlock Your Wellness Session to get my opinion on your best next step.

Kristin Wood

Balanced Body Guide


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